An Interview with The Haunted's Peter Dolving
- Wednesday, 04 February 2009 15:21
- Written by Joe Henley
Sound check had been plodding on tediously and laboriously for over four hours at V.U. Live House on Saturday, November 15th, 2008, the date of Swedish melodic thrashers The Haunted’s first gig in Taipei, Taiwan. The band had arrived at the venue at 1 p.m., expecting to be in an out in under an hour. Instead, as 5:30 rolled around, there they stood on stage, seemingly no closer to any semblance of clarity in the sound they were attempting to coax from the P.A. system. And it wasn’t for any lack of effort or know-how, at least on the part of The Haunted’s crew. Their normally affable Danish sound man, Bo, who has been with the band for over 10 years and, by his own admission, is prone to becoming so angry as to actually shout out loud only once every six months or so, which is no minor feat in the hectic, stressful world of touring, was now spitting venomous epithets with some regularity. When, at long last, sound check came to a close, Bo deservedly dove headlong into a bottle of vodka to soothe his jangled nerves.
This writer, at the invitation of amiable guitarist Patrik Jensen, joined Bo in what is generously referred to as the back stage area of V.U. Live House; that is the area beside the small stage that was delineated by a velvet rope and small golden metal stands, which would otherwise look like any other part of the venue save for the spread of fried chicken parts, French fries, snickers bars, cheap Korean beer, and bottles of whiskey and vodka laid out on a table. “Do you drink?” Jensen asked as I sat down in front of the bowel-melting bounty, to which I, as casually as was possible for a man staring at a most ample supply of free alcohol, responded that yes, I do indeed enjoy the odd cocktail. Is there a music journalist out there, pre-rehab of course, who would say no? When Jensen was informed that I was to interview The Haunted front man Peter Dolving, a wry grin spread across his face. “You're in for a treat.”
At this point Dolving had gone back to his hotel to freshen up before the show after the ridiculously prolonged sound check, so the interview would be pushed back until after the show. Surely there would be no harm in tipping back a glass or two to move the pre-show tedium along. And so, the night’s indulgence began, and would later culminate in me being three sheets to the wind, as they say, slurring questions with a glass of straight whiskey at my feet to a man reformed of nearly every major vice one can name.
Bo, in between enthusiastically shaking his head in disbelief, recalled that all his years of working for The Haunted and various other bands, including Dark Tranquility who had also been to Taiwan a few months previous, rarely had he come up against such frustration. Unbelievably, the local sound crew didn’t even know to point the microphones at the amps, instead choosing inexplicably and maddeningly to point them straight up at the ceiling, leaving their Danish counterpart to walk them through what turned out to be an elongated crash course in setting up a P.A. system.
It was nothing short of a miracle that The Haunted didn’t end up playing straight out of their amps to the crowd that would, thankfully, later fill the venue and make up for any technical shortcomings the evening would bring. But, as the old saying goes, the show went on, and The Haunted, as per usual, laid waste to yet another crowd. Dolving, hanging from the low ceiling track lighting at times, leaning out over the frenzied front row fanatics who clutched and grabbed at his clothing, along with the twin kings of melodic thrash , the Bjorler brothers, Jensen, and drummer Per Moller Jensen, captured the crowd from the outset and refused to let go for a second, save for a comical interlude in which Dolving had the crowd sing “Happy Birthday” to the twins, despite the fact that their birthday isn’t until February.
After the show, all members of the band hung out with the fans, obliging all requests for photos, autographs, and plain old conversation, showing that they are truly a band that is completely earnest and altruistic in their efforts to give back to their fans. It was also then that Dolving exposed his shocking new vice: Starbucks coffee. The always engaging, never-at-a-loss-for-words vocalist and I sat on the curb on a street in the Ximen night market around the corner from the venue, I with my whiskey, he with his caffeine fix, as the local shopkeepers closed their food and drink stalls for the evening, and talked at length about his life and music.
TaipeiMetal.com: So what did you think of the response tonight?
Peter Dolving: Sweet. That was sweet. The deal is you never know what to expect, especially with a place you've never played before. Even within a country it'll be different from day to day because every city is different. People are different in all different cities. In Australia there's a huge difference between Sydney and Melbourne, for example. They're really, really enthusiastic and intense but in different ways.
TM: How so?
PD: The Sydney crowd is a lot more...they're not reserved but they're not as outgoing with who they are as people. There's a little bit more of a European attitude going on. Whereas in Melbourne they're really physical. They're really into it. This was sweet. It was kind of hard because you couldn't see really well because it's kind of dark down there but, yeah it was sweet. It was intense as a motherfucker.
TM: Even with the equipment problems you guys were alright?
PD: Fuck that! In the end it's very simple. We're the pros. It's our job to be able to, no matter what, do our show. It's wonderful when the opportunities and everything kind of clicks and we're fortunate to play at a place where the equipment is the way we hope it would be but it's not ever any worse than, you know, fuck it we've been doing this for 20 years. We can do this. We can handle that. Sometimes people get grumpy and whatever. In the end, fuck it. We'll do what we do and make sure that it all works out.
TM: It's funny that you put it like that because Behemoth was here two weeks ago to the day and they had the same problems you guys did and they just said “Fuck it let's go.” And they kicked ass the same way you guys did tonight. I guess that's just the way you gotta go.
PD: I don't know how other people do it. I know how bands like us, Behemoth, Vader, Sick Of It All, Millencolin, there's a bunch of bands and we do have that in common that no matter what we'll play the god damn show and we'll do it as fuckin' well as we can and we have a priority. There's a reason why we do it and it's a love for the music we do and it's a love for the people who love what we do as much as we do. And not necessarily our music but metal, hardcore and punk rock. And it sounds cheesy but it's almost a mission in its own right. The fact is that all these people that love this music are surrounded by the culture that is immensely stifling to any kind of humanity. All these things that are considered to be mainstream or commercial entertainment whatsoever, it's not very entertaining. It's not very challenging in any way, whether to the artists or the audience. I believe, and I know that the guys from Sick Of It All believe, I know Behemoth believe, we believe this type of music is important. It serves a purpose. There's something really important about it and it has to do with freedom and it has to do with a deeper belief that human beings are a little bit more worth than money can put into it. We've gotta take care of each other.
TM: I'm interested that you mentioned about freedom and it having a message because you were quite vocal about Americans getting out to vote in the presidential election and Obama won so what did you think about that?
PD: My thing with that is not so much about Obama winning. Personally I'm glad it was Obama as opposed to McCain but I would accept McCain. In the end they're both two sides of the same coin. But that's not really the point. The point is participation. The point is people getting off their asses and getting involved. The point is the verbal conflict, to have a though process that's verbalized and that's going on where people discuss and talk. Because none of us will ever have a direct answer. I won't, you won't and on one else. But we can actually move forward together. So we need to participate and we need to speak out. We can't fuckin' agree all the time. It's OK not to agree all the time.
TM: You were also wholeheartedly opposed to the U.S. government's buyout plan for the financial crisis and that was defeated so what do you think about that?
PD: I'm not really happy about the bailout because they're still doing the bailout. They're just doing it a different way. I think it's sad, but that's me personally, to see in the end it's the taxpayers paying for Wall Street's speculation. It's still happening. As far as I'm concerned it's not right. The reason why I think so, you don't have to agree, is that speculation is nothing but gambling. And I don't have a problem with gambling but I do have a problem when someone gambles with my money.
TM: They're gambling with the taxpayer's money.
PD: That's exactly what they're doing. They're speculating not only on the worth of Americans but on the basic worth of people here, people in Europe, in Sweden, in Germany. What happens on Wall Street or in the financial stock market everywhere in the world, it affects everyday reality for everyone. And we can kind of hide our heads in the sand and pretend it doesn't happen but it's a matter of fact. It affects everyone. It affects how much milk we get for our buck, how much our rent's gonna be. If you've got kids it affects how much the fuckin' diapers are gonna cost. And that's just a sad fact. It's the truth and is it really OK? Back in the 1800s there was a law passed in the U.S. that stopped that type of speculation. Then 50 years later it was passed again that new corporate laws etcetera. But it has been made illegal in the U.S. one time because they realized this system is really destructive to ordinary people and it has several times been made illegal in different European countries and also here in Asia several different times it has been made illegal. But they've kind for lobbied for making it legal again to speculate on currency.
TM: It is destructive. We're seeing it now. People are losing their homes.
PD: Oh absolutely. History has proved it. History has proved that the kind of risk venture capitalism that has been blatantly growing over the last 40 or 50 years, it has failed before and it has been extremely destructive to society as a whole. I mean, fuck, we've seen it happen so many times before it's just unmodern. It's passe. It's in the past. It doesn't work. It's just like communism or feudalism. It doesn't work. We've tried it. Fuck it. Let's move on. Let's find a new model.
TM: Another thing I wanted to talk about was, you're a very prolific writer obviously on your blog writings and whatnot. Have you ever considered doing that full time? If some day your music days are done would you want to be a writer?
PD: I don't know. I honestly don't know.
TM: You write a lot.
PD: I do write a lot. And I don't know. I honestly don't know. If it turns out that I'm skilled enough to do it that's probably what I'll do. If not or if I find something else that I enjoy I'll probably do that. It's hard to say. Right now I write because I enjoy it and I enjoy...you know one of the reasons I write more than anything else is the fact that it creates a kind of dialogue that's not just between me and someone else but that fact that's so cool about writing on the Internet is I can write something and it'll create reactions and people will write and respond to that. And that in it's own turn opens new responses and new paths to thinking. It's not so much to do with me but being a part of something else and writing together with other people, which I think is really, really exciting and really cool.
TM: Judging from what I've read from your writings and your blog entries and whatnot you seem like the kind of person whose mind is always going a million miles an hour. How do you organize it all?
PD: I can't.
TM: But what about your songwriting. How do you take all those thoughts and transform it into something coherent like song lyrics?
PD: There are many ways to go about these things. With music it's cool because, to express it simply, it's a shape. In the shape there's always a place for new patterns. That's basically what I do with vocal melodies and words. I listen to the music and it brings emotions out. Then I try to translate those emotions into images, then I place those images within the structure of the music. In many ways my brain does go constantly. Thanks to modern technology and medical science people like me can actually function. I'm thankful for that. Pre-medication I was really suffering from that. Now, it's more of a gift.
TM: Pre-medication?
PD: Yeah, I'm on venlofaxin, which was initially an experimental medication for schizoid personalities and bipolar and A.D.D.
TM: Are you bipolar?
PD: No, I am however really, really hyperactive mentally. Not so much physically, but mentally I am and I am really unevenly balanced as far as where I have some things that I am extremely gifted in and then in other areas, like structure, for example, it's catastrophic. There are big holes. I get aid, I get help from people. And I need it. It used to be a handicap. Now it's just who I am.
TM: I have a quote that I wrote down from one of your blog entries. In describing touring you say, “It's fucking tragic and it's fucking brilliant.” What do you mean by that?
PD: I mean it's really twisted because you're living in transit and constantly repeating yourself in new places. It's like living in a constant state of deja vu but in different areas and different settings. And to break out of the loop that it creates and try to do something new and something creative that allows you to develop as a person and to not be worn down and broken by it takes a hell of a lot of effort and takes some thinking. If you can work it out it's brilliant, it's sweet. If you can't you end up...I see it a lot. You end up getting fucked up. Drugs, alcohol, it's really negative and destructive patterns because there's so much repeating.
TM: Going back to your writing, the reaction to your writing is so polarized, half the people want you to shut the fuck up and half the people can't get enough. What's your reaction?
PD: There's two ways of looking at it. I can look at it in a really egotistical, sensitive kind of perspective or I can look at it from a very creative, positive perspective. I choose the latter. These people that get really upset by my writing, there's nothing special or genius about it, but it does reflect what a lot of people, are thinking.
TM: I have to say it is honest.
PD: And I think that's provocative. If you have a very closed mind, a very fearful way of looking at things, then of course that's going to be scary because you can't say those things. You can't do those things because you don't do that. But of course you do. Why aren't we allowed to talk about anything? It's reasonable. Shit, you know, Stan said that on South Park.
TM: So it comes out of fear, the negative reaction.
PD: I think so, honestly. Fear, incompetence and ignorance.
TM: I have another quote here from you. You said, “I used to think I was a psychopath or a sociopath. As it turns out I'm not. I'm just not wired like most. But people out there do the weirdest shit for reasons I will never understand. Like I said before, what if you are all the monsters and I'm the normal one?” So who's normal and who's the monster?
PD: This is really interesting because I really used to think I was the weirdo. I don't anymore.
TM: Did you think you were a sociopath?
PD: I did because I didn't understand my emotional reactions and the reason for that was very simple: I was comparing myself to others. I thought that what others did was the norm. As I've grown older and as I've understood more and learned more about the human mind, psychology, I've realized that it's not so much me. I'm a rather well-functioning emotional person. But I didn't think so. But it turns out, and I'm starting to understand even more, that I've always ended up in situations with really dysfunctional people. And in that kind of structure if you're an outspoken, questioning and communicative person you will seem really weird.
TM: Do you have a specific example?
PD: Yeah I have a great example. The band, they don't talk. It's taken us 12 years to get to the point where we actually talk to each other. There used to be a point where we could do on tour and no one said one word for two weeks straight. Not good morning, not good night, not hello. When I got back in the band, I was like fuck this. We can't do this. What's going on. And the initial response was really strong because it was very uncomfortable and very painful I think for everyone. And I have a tendency to do that. If things are not working I call people on shit because I care. I want things to work and I really care. It took a lot of courage because when I left the band it was like that back in '98. But then I don't think I had the balls to call everyone on it.
TM: Is that what led to you leaving the band?
PD: No, why I left had to do with alcohol and drugs. But when I got back I was clean. And I realized that I'm not gonna accept that. Everyone in this band is way too good to waste their talent and their capacity as a human being. So I called everyone on it. Come on, we have this amazing band and we have all these incredible people all over the world that fuckin' love this. Come on, crawl out of your own asshole and start fucking being here man. And it actually has worked.
TM: So what has changed your perception of yourself so dramatically? At one time you were a sociopath and now...
PD: A lot of work. Therapy. Getting clean has been a long process with different self-help groups.
TM: How far gone were you with the drugs and alcohol?
PD: I hit my rock bottom.
TM: What was rock bottom for you?
PD: For me rock bottom was an emotional and self-perceptive rock bottom. I was drinking maybe a liter a day and I took a lot of opiates, painkillers and sleeping medication, I smoked a lot of weed. It's a very low-maintenance constant and I'd get really messed up at night after my family had gone to bed because then it wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't coherent or couldn't walk. For me most of it was a question of self-medication, to be able to function with other people. The last six years has been very much about dealing with rage issues, anger management. Understanding what's my business and what's not my business. I used alcohol and drugs to do that for me. Without the alcohol and drugs it's been really hard because I didn't have the damper to hold that back. But I've learned, and it's cool to realize that you can actually learn; that you're not completely fucked. I'm pretty fuckin' stoked about it.
TM: That's interesting because you once also said, “Balance is the most painful state of existence I know.”
PD: It is.
TM: But now you seem balanced.
PD: That's because I think it's something you have to work on. I think you have to learn it. I really do think everything is. You learn how to ride a bicycle. It takes a while. You learn how to walk. You learn how to crawl. You learn how to write. It takes training. It's the same thing with balance in life. And with touring, I find it a hell of a lot easier because for me, as I said before, with the whole goldfish reality of constant deja vu, that discipline and repetition is very functional for being who I am. I have a hell of a lot harder time being in ordinary, everyday life because there are so many new aspects that show up every day and there's so many new things and it's not...every day is not the same. Every day when you're at home, I have two kids, I have an ex-wife, she's my best friend, and I have all these other people in my life, that shit is hard! That shit is painful because there's so many new aspects that come in to play constantly. And being on tour is not like that. It's very repetitious and very disciplined.
TM: You've also predicted that you'll die somewhere around the age of 50.
PD: Yeah hopefully not, with my temper...
TM: Does this weigh on your mind a lot?
PD: No, I hope I die when I'm 80 or 90. But I get really, really angry sometimes and it's not good for me. I'm working at it, I'm getting better, a lot better. It takes a lot of work but I am truly getting better. I don't wanna die of a fuckin' stroke. But risks are pretty high that I would. My granddad did, my dad's really messed up because of high blood pressure and stuff. I don't have very high blood pressure.
TM: Your dad's still around though.
PD: Yeah I don't talk to him though.
TM: He's not in your life?
PD: No, he's an alcoholic. He's a really nice guy but he's really affected in a bad way by the addiction disease. In his case alcohol addiction. As long as you're in active addiction your life is really put on hold and you become this different person. Personally I can't have that person in my life. I'd love to have him but I can't have him in my life as long as he's active in his addiction because he becomes his addiction person which is s completely different dude.
TM: When was the last time the two of you spoke?
PD: We've talked on the phone once every three weeks or something as of June because my kid, my son, wanted me to. He's asked me specifically to call his granddad. So I've started to kind of say hi. And I realize, and my father realizes also, that we're very cautious in it because he knows that he doesn't really want to deal with the fact that he's an alcoholic. He doesn't want to be but he knows he is. I think he's really weary of being judged for it. I don't judge him for it. I know it's a disease. I have the same disease. You have to start dealing with it to overcome it.
TM: You have overcome it though.
PD: You can never overcome it. You can learn how to deal with it.
TM: So you've learned how to deal with it.
PD: I try to. I stay clean.
TM: How long have you been totally clean?
PD: Totally clean for two and a half years. No relapses in two and a half years and I've been working at it for six years almost. I went to a meeting, a self-help group, 12-step meeting a couple of days ago and it was like Nic Cage home group. I don't know what to say about it. It's fuckin' sweet. I'm really fuckin' happy that I'm clean and it's not hard anymore. The first year was so fucked up. It was so horrendous it hurt. My whole body was a lump of aching hell. But I've gotten the right help and learned more about how and what it's done to my body and really getting into actually taking care of myself. The thing with opiates especially, opiates and alcohol, it really fucks with your nervous system. And I really wasn't fuckin' ready for that. I had no fuckin' clue. And I just went cold fuckin' turkey and I haven't gotten any treatment or anything. I had chronic pain for the first year and it still hurts but I really take care of my body. As long as I take care of my body I don't have chronic pain anymore. It still hurts but it's not the same kind of pain.
TM: Would you say you're at the best point in your life so far?
PD: Absolutely. I haven't had this much fun since I was like two. Life went to shit when I was about three years old and then just fucking downward from there. I started drinking when I was ten. I started popping pills when I was 13. I started dropping acid and taking 'shrooms when I was 15, 16. Smoking dope along the way. I really made an effort to hurt myself. But I have a lot of will. I have a lot of love in my life and I have a lot of will.
TM: So you're now divorced...
PD: She's still my best friend. We're both better off for it. It's really done a lot of good for our relationship as friends and as parents to our kids. The hardest decision ever, fuckin' painful man to have to accept that we don't go together as a couple. That fuckin' sucks man 'cause she's great. I love her. Can't live together. We can't. She can't live with me and I can't live with her. It doesn't mean I don't love her. She's my best friend. But we can't be a couple. We're not good for each other. We're great parents if we stay friends. So we had to make the right choice.
TM: You've mentioned in the past that you have no impulse control which has led to destructive behavior both in a personal sense and in the context of damaging actual property. How much better are you at that now?
PD: Again, I'm learning more and more about it. It's not a question of having no impulse control but having low impulse control. Some would say I'm a highly functional Asperger/A.D.D. It kind of depends on stress levels, sleep, physical condition, whether I'm in good shape or not. The better shape I'm in it seems I'm higher in adrenaline but I have a slightly longer fuse. Does that make sense?
TM: When was the last time you remember having a problem with impulse control?
PD: Two days ago.
TM: OK, explain in as much or as little detail as you would prefer. Preferably as much.
PD: OK, I'll go with very little. I almost hurt someone and I didn't. I'm really happy I didn't. But it was very, very, very, very close.
TM: A physical altercation.
PD: Yes, because when I'm physically overworked or stressed, my body will emit so much adrenaline that I used to really lose control and I don't quite do that anymore. Sometimes I manage to really hold it back. But it's something...I don't know, it's almost a psychedelic experience.
TM: So what happened this time?
PD: This time the other guy knew about me and my...
TM: Who was the other guy?
PD: One of us in the band. Not a band member. Crew. He was aware enough and intelligent enough to actually just walk away.
TM: And if he hadn't walked away what would have happened?
PD: I don't want to know and I really don't care to know. I'm really not happy about it. It's not a good thing. It has led me to trouble but it has gotten better. It's not really a problem if he didn't walk away because he did walk away. When he did that then I could understand why he did it. He closed the door, like physically closed the door. I can take that. It's a signal and I can respect that.
TM: So it came down to him making the decision.
PD: Well he made the first decision. Before I wouldn't have accepted the closed door.
TM: You would have smashed through it.
PD: Oh yes absolutely. But that's the asshole/dysfunctional person.
TM: But that's not you anymore.
PD: No.
TM: So you're a much calmer person today.
PD: I'm a slightly more controlled person. I'm really working on it. I don't want to fuckin' be an asshole.
TM: Are you where you want to be, personally?
PD: No, fuck no. Can any person ever be? I think it's pretty arrogant to think you ever are. You can be fortunate enough to enjoy being where you're at. You can always move forward. Life is something that's continuing. You're never the same person you were 10 minutes ago. Nothing is static.
TM: But you think you're a better person than you used to be.
PD: I'm a person who enjoys life more.
TM: You're enjoying life. You're a happy person now.
PD: In most definitions yes I would probably say I'm a happy person. I'm a hell of a lot happier, definitely.
TM: Does that have anything to do with the music?
PD: It has to do with everything. It has to do with understanding and accepting a lot of things about myself and learning more about who I am. Not trying to be anything else. Accepting the now and living in the now more.
TM: What's the plan for The Haunted? It seems like you guys are showing no sign of slowing down.
PD: I know the plan is to make a new record as soon as possible because we want to. We're talking about actually starting to write the songs in the spring and within a year have a new album out. We have a bunch of ideas we want to try out just to see if we can actually do it.
TM: What's the idea.
PD: I can't tell you anything. That wouldn't be fair.
TM: This aside you're one of the most open people in entertainment, whether it's metal or anything else. So why put yourself out there like that?
PD: Why not? Why be a coward in life? Why do you want to be a cartoon? It's a leap of faith—a hope that people are actually just people. They're not good or bad. I'm not special more than anyone else. I can learn as much from others as they can from me.
TM: I do think it's important that you throw things out their in your blog entries and, whether people love it or hate it, it creates opinion and anyone can reply on the Dolving Myspace page.
PD: Absolutely. That's the whole point.
TM: And you will actually respond, which in the case of many celebrities or entertainers is not such a common thing.
PD: But this is not 1982 or 1969 or 1995. This is 2008. I think the whole traditional media creation of celebrities on a pedestal or a romanticized imagery that has nothing to do with reality, and selling masks or avatars is just bullshit.
TM: The walls are down.
PD: The walls are going down. They need to go down.
TM: And in this day and age you can actually send a message to your favorite band, but not a lot of them will actually send one back. But you do. Why?
PD: Because I care. And I think the reason why a lot of bands don't is because they're chicken shit. They're fuckin' cowards man. They are so full of bullshit and are judgmental sons of bitches and if they're open they know they're gonna get called on their shit. So many people I know in this business are so full of shit. Within this business there is so much racial prejudice, misogyny, homophobia. I won't go into specifics, I don't want to lay people out there. That's not fair. I try to do what I can in my world and I think sharing about being a person and being a part of reality is enough. I'm not on a crusade. You go back 30 years, someone like Ronnie James Dio, he's not afraid. He'll speak his mind.
TM: He still does.
PD: He still does. Always has, always will. You go back to that generation, that's where it's at. You look at those who are a little bit older than me and those who are my age and a little younger and they're all so caught up in some idea of controlling someone's perception.
TM: It's image.
PD: Which is bullshit. Here's an honest opinion. It shouldn't matter what my personal opinion is. If you enjoy my art you're still welcome to enjoy my art whether you agree with me or not. It's perfectly OK not to agree with me. You can still enjoy my art. And you can hate my art, but agree with me. And I can do the same with you and that's what's so cool. That's part of the whole deal.
TM: That's the whole concept of freedom, I think.
PD: Me too.